Apr 4 2011
WHY I HATE UCONN, THEIR FANS, JIM CALHOUN AND HUSKY SALSA…
This is the first OFFICIAL ARTICLE from our new Author/Editor…
HEATHER SYKES
Let me tell you one thing about Heather: She doesn’t mess around. So expect articles without a lot of fire flames.
Less Get It…
I love to rile sports fans up. I love to make fun of girls wearing pink Tom Brady jerseys. I love to pick on Mets fans (sorry Nick). I love to call out people who started being “THE HUGEST HEAT FANS IN THE WORLD!!!!” … only after Lebron “took his talent to South Beach”. But mostly, I LOVE annoying UConn fans. Why? Because I’m from Connecticut, grew up in Connecticut and I went to college in Connecticut. And I, am not a UConn fan . So, instead of telling you WHY I am a fan of the Syracuse Orange… I’m going to tell you the…
TOP 10 REASONS WHY I HATE UCONN AND YOU SHOULD TOO
10. I’m at a Connecticut bar… I look to my left, there’s a d-bag in some cheap Walmart Huskies hat. I look to my right, there’s some girl wearing a pink Huskies zip up, obviously bought at Bob’s stores on the way to the bar, because the tags still hanging from the collar. I have no problem with them being fans, I really don’t…. But when it’s March 25, you just bought your “pride wear” on the way to watch the game.. you only know Kemba Walkers name because the broadcasters are saying it over and over again like an orgasm, “OHHHH KEMMMMBAAAA”, YOU, my friend, are a front runner.
Put A Shirt On
9. To go along with front runners… if I have to see one more facebook post about how godly Kemba Walker is, I’m going to punch someone in the face. I really will. I bet you most of these people who have these Kembagasms, couldn’t even tell me that he’s a guard, or that he’s from the Bronx.. they probably don’t even know he actually goes to UConn. For real people. He’s a great college player… but so was Greg Oden. Yeah. Exactly. Maybe I’m just bitter because I have to deal with Scoop Jardine for another year…
8. We’re not just talking UConn men here. UConn women…boring. Who wants to watch a game when the score is 89 – 18? Stupid annoying UConn women basketball fans. They do. Here’s my example. I used to work in a sports bar .. so when Lebron makes his return to Cleveland for the first time ever, it’s a big deal.. so I put the game on. Some good for nothing UConn womens basketball fan makes me put the womens game on … the score was 79 -10. REALLY? This is what I have to say to you Mr. Womens basketball fan… why do you want to watch a bunch of unattractive girls play bad basketball? I don’t know. But why do you want to watch a bunch of unattractive girls play bad basketball when one team is tripling the other score? UCONN FANS LOVE THAT CRAP.
Nough Said...
7. People say that I should be a UConn fan, solely on the fact that I’m from Connecticut. No. Most people root for UConn because they live in Connecticut, regardless of where they went to school. I understand having pride in your state, especially when your state is as lame as Connecticut, but come on… get another reason than that.
6. I don’t support cheaters. And my friends, Jim Calhoun is a cheater. I don’t even need to get into it. Cough Cough, recruiting violations.
5. I can’t say this for a fact, but I bet you half those guys on the team don’t even go to class, and they get degrees from UConn??? I graduated high school with a 3.5 GPA, I was on two varsity sports teams, the vice president of the Young Republican’s, did massive amounts of charity work and I had a tough time getting into UConn. Most of these dudes can’t even speak in complete sentences. But that’s not really anything against just UConn, it’s really sports recruiting in genereal. Damn you mom and dad for not making me talented.
4. People say that Maya Moore and Kemba Walker should have a baby, and UConn should just recruit right out of the crib. Please see my notes on recruiting violations above.
3. For real, UConn mens didn’t make it into the NCAA tournament in 2010. Where were all the “BIGGEST HUSKIES FANS IN THE WORLD???” Yeah. Probably rooting for Duke or Kansas. You “Huskies fans” are the same ones that pull out your Yankee hats when they’re on top, but then when the Sox are on top, you throw on your Papelbon jersey and take the cahh all the way to bahh haabaah.
2. An Orange is a much cooler mascot than a Husky. Also, so is a Bulldog. They’re friendlier and get along with children. Plus, they snort.
And lastly, my number one reason for WHY I DON’T ROOT FOR UCONN...
1. BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO. Ok for real, it’s after 5 and I want to go home…. but I’ll leave you with my final words of the night.
GO BUTLER. And just because I said that, I have the worlds worst NCAA luck; UConn will win, and I’ll have to see stupid Husky-wear, and Husky salsa and Husky wine everywhere. Wonderful….