When Tigers Away, The Kids Will Play

Don't worry Rory, I'm not playing Sunday. You won't need two pairs of boxers.

I was very critical of 22 year old Rory Mcilroy a few months ago at The Masters. I didn’t like how he went after my man (Frank Lucas Voice) Tiger Woods. I didn’t like his douchey attitude and especially didn’t like seeing a 22-year old kid walk around the worlds most famous golf course like his shit didn’t stink. So when he choked down the back 9 at Agusta like Fat Frank did those 3 pickles and coleslaw dishes at the Diner last night, I couldn’t help but root for karma to rear it’s ugly head. As always…..it did.

The story of the Masters meltdown will stay with Mcilroy for a while, or at least until he wins his first major (today?), as will that comfortable final round lead; turned into an epic meltdown after that 10th hole, triple bogey, which featured multiple trips into the rough and a shot that ricocheted off a tree. That epic collapse led Rory to pencil in that Final Round 80 to finish tied for 15th.

But things have since changed. Earlier this month Tiger announced he’d sit out this US Open, Phil Nippleson (Mickelson) is STILL doing his best LeBron James disappearing act, and no one else out there for Rory to worry about except for dopes like YE Yang, Lee Westwood (fatty), and Jason Day. Basically Rory is in the drivers seat and it is damn near IMPOSSIBLE to blow this lead.

It’s funny because I watched Rory the past few months as he prepared for this tournament and I started to actually like the kid. I think the Masters meltdown was the best thing that happened to him. He has changed his attitude towards the game, stopped going after it’s greats, and finally sacked up and is just striking the ball and putting like a champ.

So after I picked Rory to win the Open (Swami who?) and finally decided to root for him (even made a bet with my brother who TEACHES golf, that he’d win), of course he is kicking ass.

So just As Rory basically put the final dagger in the rest of the field on Saturday at Congressional, stretching his lead for the third straight day with a 3-under 68 (set 54-hole record at the U.S. Open — an INSANE 14-under 199) — to build an eight-shot lead going into the final round, it’s all over.

All in all, if Rory blows this one I will personally find that little leprechaun and smack the ugly off of him. Do your thing kid. Seriously. I don’t think anyone can feel threatened by YE Yang right? Who was the last Asian that intimidated someone….Kim Jong Il? (Barkley Voice). After all that I’m ready for a fat, lazy day of Golf and Sunday Dinner. I’m such a fatty.