September 23rd should be “National Juice Day”, where all the Milfs buy their kids apple juice, all steaks have to be ordered at least medium, all the juice heads give each other shots in the ass, and of course Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro, Alex Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds hang out all day, scrub each others backs in the hot tub, and give each other reach arounds.
The “JUICYNESS” that went down on this day…
9/23/1988: A juiced out Jose Canseco becomes the first player to join the 40/40 club, hitting 40 homeruns and stealing 40 bases in one season. Canseco would go on to write a book ratting everyone out who did steroids including himself…
9/23/2000: A juiced out Rafael Palmeiro hits his 400th HR becoming only the 32nd player to ever do it. Palmeiro would go on to assure congress that he never took steroids to only be tested positive for steroids 4 months later.
9/23/2001: A juiced out A-Rod hits 48 home runs breaking the single season shortstop record held Ernie Banks. A-Rod would go on 60 minutes where he was asked by Kate Couric in Dec of 2007: “For the record, have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone or any other performance-enhancing substance?”…Arod would answer, “No” to only be caught 14 months later for a 2003 positive test, which THEN A-Rod admits to taking steroids for a 3 year period.
9/23/2001: Same day as Juiced out Alex, Juiced out Sammy Sosa hits three home runs in one game, becoming the first player in MLB history to hit three home runs in a game, three separate times in a season. Sosa would go on to testify to congress claiming that “he speak no Elglis” but would claim via translator that he never took performance enhancing drugs…to only be caught for steroids in a report by the New York Times.
9/23/2006: A juiced out Barry Bonds hits his 734th Home Run breaking the NL Record held by Hank Aaron (Aaron played his last two years on the Brewers which were an AL team before 1997) To still never have been caught with STEROIDS. How is it possible that the most juiced out man since the Ultimate Warrior, was not caught by baseball who did so much investigating that they would know if you’re 3rd cousin typed the word steroids on his/her computer.