In honor of Cinco de Mayo one of FloppingOut’s favorite holidays and the hangover weekend, we will be bringing you the:
FLOPPINGOUT TOP 10 MEXICAN ATHLETES
*These Mexicans or Mexican descendants will be ranked based on how good they are/were, how loco they are, and of course how Mexican they are* LESS GET IT and HAPPY HOLIDAYS FELLAS… Leave the drinking and eating to us…
10. Tony Romo
Not many people know from his WASPY puppy face, but Tony Romo is a second generation Mexican American. His grandfather, Ramiro Romo Sr. came from Muzquiz, Coahuila Mexico to Texas most likely illegally using coyote services (people who add illegals to smuggle). As a player Romo has had a very promising career in the NFL, making it to 3 Pro Bowls, and if not for a botched snapped and a trip to Cancun, Mexico with a “in her prime” version of Jessica Simpson, Romo might have actually got to a Super Bowl.
Romo is however 4th All-Time in NFL passer rating at 95.8, behind only BYU flamer Steve Young, Philip Rivers, and Aaron Rodgers. If Romo can recover from a broken collar bone and the Cowboys defense brings in Michael Irving for pre-game key bumps, Romo and Co could surprise many next year and in the future.
9. Fernando Valenzuela
Fernandomania was in FULL EFFECT in Los Angeles during the early 80′s. In 1981, Valenzuela at 20 years old took LA by storm, winning his first 8 decisions and leading the Dodgers to the World Championship. That year, Valenzuela became the only player in Major League history to win the Rookie of the Year award and the Cy Young Award in the same season. He also has a Silver Slugger Award and World Series championship to his resume.”El Toro” ran through the MLB like he hit up a Taco Bell drive -thru winning 21 games in 1986 and pitching a no-hitter in 1990. Fernando Valenzuela was inducted into the Hispanic Heritage Baseball Museum Hall of Fame on August 23, 2003 in pregame on field ceremony at Dodger Stadium. Very fitting that fat boy Fernando has also worked as a Spanish-language color commentator since 2003 for the Dodgers. I wonder how many Tacos they bring fatty…
8. Eduardo Najera
If Eduardo Najera wasn’t Mexican I doubt he’d ever make a top 10 list in his life, but this is FloppingOut.com. Najera was born in Chihuahua, Mexico and is only the 2nd Mexican-born NBA player, figures dudes are barely 5 foot out there. Najera must have ate a lot of pollo Americano. Eduardo went to high school in Mexico then attended Cornerstone Christian Academy in San Antonio, Texas, to learn English before transferring to the University of Oklahoma where the Mexican did landscaping type work. Najera finished his Oklahoma career top-ten in 9 different categories in Sooner basketball history, and was scouted as one of the 2000 draft’s best rebounders and hardworking defenders.
Najera was drafted in the 2nd round, # 38 to the Houston Rockets, but was immediately traded on draft night to the Dallas Mavericks for the rights to some shmuck named Dan Langhi. Getting traded would be a common occurrence for the Mexican, as he would be traded 7 times throughout his career. Najera has averaged 5.1 points, 3.8 rebounds, .7 steals, and is currently on the Charlotte Bobcats. Not many people now that Eduardo Najera is still alive today.
7. Nomar Garciaparra*
You know you’re Mexican in the city of Boston when the Red Sox honor you Mexican style. Last year the Sox celebrated “Nomar Garciaparra’s Mexican heritage day” by throwing him a margarita and Corona-filled party on Cinco de Mayo at Fenway Park. That’s G. Now what Nomar did to his Mexican heritage in the 2006 World Baseball Classic wasn’t. He announced that he was going to be playing for the Mexican Team in the WBC, but later withdrew because he said he wanted to focus on getting ready with a new team, a new position (Dodgers and first base). After playing a decade as an All-Star shortstop for the Boston Red Sox, he played for the Oakland Athletics, Los Angeles Dodgers, and the Chicago Cubs. He is one of 13 players in Major League history to hit two grand slams in a one game, but he was also most likely sticking the needle in his ass. *Asterisk above*
6. Adrian Gonzalez
The 4-time All star, and 2-time Gold Glover is one of the best 1st baseman in the MLB. Gonzalez lived in Mexico for 12 years as a child and you can definitely tell by his chalupa gut. Gonzalez played for Team Mexico in the 2006 and 2009 World Baseball Classic as didAdrian’s father David Gonzalez who also played a Mexican Amateur squad in the 70′s. A-Gone signed with Boston this past season in a seven-year contract extension worth $154 million through the 2018 Season. That’s A LOT of Chimichanga’s for the fatty.
5. Mark Sanchez- Viva Sanchez
The Southern California kid turned New York Jets quarterback has become the face of football for the Mexican community. And Mark knows it, “I need to learn more Spanish because I want to talk with the Mexican fans that have supported me much. I am 100% Mexican.” During his first two games as a starter at USC in 2007, Sanchez wore a mouthpiece that featured the colors of the Mexican flag in honor of his heritage. In the NFL, Sanchez has lead the Jets to back to back AFC Championship games, and has some of the best postseason statistics of any quarterback below the age of 25.
4. Oscar Del Lay Hoya
De La Hoya is one heck of a Mexican American boxer that many think is “The Golden Boy” his nickname suggests… but the reality is Oscar has done some crazy/stupid/weird ass shit in his life. First off, Oscar supposedly got his nickname “The Golden Boy” for being the youngest boxer at 17 to win a Gold Medal, however accounts from many East LA locals, as accounted on BleacherReport.com, claim that Oscar was one mean ass “ese” who got his nickname “the golden boy” for beating people up and then peeing on them…
Julio An Contreras of East LA is quoted in regards to Oscar, “I seen him (Oscar) a couple of times back in high school. He was one mean ese homes. He was always bragging about how he was this boxer and he could kick anyone’s ass in the school. He would always pick on the white kids. If he liked your girl, he would kick your ass in front of her. After he would beat up a kid, he would start pissing all over him. His piss was always really bright yellow and stunk because he took vitamins. Most of us here are Mexican and our parents did not have money for vitamins. Oscar would always brag and shit that he was better than other Mexicans because he took vitamins. After he beat up a few freshmen and peed on them, people started calling him “golden boy,” you know, like golden shower.”
Then Hector Montes de Vergasana of East LA said, “I never went to Garfield High but I am from East L.A and I have heard the stuff about Oscar beating kids up. Most people don’t know it but that ese was known as Golden Boy before he was even popular. He was a real gangster and would beat you up if he liked your girl.”
There is also a story about Oscar and his apparent tranny fetishes. One account said a picture came out but never fully surfaced (Oscar’s Lawyers and PR reps are real legit) of Oscar bent over and a stripper using a strap-on on him . There is also a story of Oscar losing his rat Gonzalito to a crackhouse fire and becoming ultra aggressive toward African Americans for the rest of his career.
On to more positive crap: De La Hoya began his career with 31 straight victories until finally losing to Felix Trinidad in the “Fight of the Millennium” in 1999. Oscar would go on to lose twice to “Sugar” tits Shane Mosley, Bernard Hopkins, Floyd “watch out I got a gun cause I’m a bitch” Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao. Overall in his career Oscar was 39-6, with 30 knockouts, 11 World Titles, and is an Olympic Gold medalist. Oh “the Golden Boy”was also accused of rape in 1998 of a 15 year old in Mexico…
3. Anthony Munoz
Anthony Munoz is one big Mexican who is unquestionably one of the best Offensive Linemen and only Mexican in NFL history.
Munoz is ranked 12th on the NFL.com’s All Time 100 greatest players list in which he was the highest offensive lineman listed. Munoz is a Hall of Famer who throughout his career was elected to 11 (consecutive) Pro Bowls, 9 First-Team All Pro teams, 4x NFL Alumni Association Lineman of the Year (81,85,88,89), 3x Offensive Lineman of the Year (81,87,88), and a member of the NFL’s 75th Anniversary Team.
2. Ted Williams
Yeah you read that right it’s not a mistake, Ted Williams, the man known as the best hitter in baseball history celebrates Cinco de Mayo. Teddy said ”If I had had my mother’s name, there is no doubt I would have run into problems in those days, [considering] the prejudices people had in Southern California”. The man whos body is in two pieces, chilling in a freezer somewhere in Arizona was the last major leaguer to hit .400, reaching the milestone in 1941 when he batted .406. Williams’ resume featured a .344 lifetime average, 521 home runs, a record .483 career on-base percentage, a slugging percentage of .634 all while losing nearly five full seasons to military service in World War II and Korea. That’s one nasty Mexican baller.
1. Lee Trevino- “The Merry Mex” or “Supermex“
Those two nicknames alone are why Lee is our number 1 Mexican Athlete of All-Time. Not only was Lee one of best golfers to ever put a club to a ball, he was one funny mofo. Check out some hilarious quotes by Supermex…
“I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell…I’ve been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years. I’ve traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There’s not anything I’m scared of except my wife.”…
And my favorite one yet, after he was struck by lightning at the 1975 Western Open, Trevino was asked by a reporter what he would do if he were out on the course and it began to storm again….
Trevino answered he would take out his 1 iron and point it to the sky, “because not even God can hit the 1 iron.”
Oh yeah and…. GRIZZLY ADAMS DID HAVE A BEARD