Shawn Marion Getting Own Reality Show

Shawn Marion is just a man looking for love. So of course, like any normal person, he’s going on TV to find his true soul mate. Yes, that’s right, the Matrix is following in the footsteps of fellow real men of genius Flava Flav, Bret Michaels, and Ray J in a sleazy, sex-fest reality show.

The show will be called “The Ladies in my Life” and I can’t wait to hear what degrading names he gives these gold-digging hoes. I can just picture him now screaming through his mansion “Ayo Deelishous! Bring me some of dat sweet ass… girl!” Hey, the guy just won the NBA Finals and beat down the Goliath-sized Heat, so why can’t he cash in get some girl-on-girl-on-girl action?

Reality shows have become the car accidents of the television world: their god-awful, yet you just can’t help but watch religiously. My only piece of advice for these women in the Matrix’s life….don’t take the blue pill. It’s not birth control. And it may or may not be ruffies. Just a fair warning.