Jan 12 2012
Steven Spielberg has to make a horror movie called “4th Quarter” starring LeBron James, a court with a 4th quarter clock, and a rope hanging from the rafters. I mean this dude is more afraid of the 4th quarter than I am of a fat chick who eats salad. Yes that honestly freaks me the hell out. Fat chicks eating salads, because they are a BIG FAT GIANT LIE. You know they just eat salad to make people think they eat well, and it is their SLOW metabolism why they have a FUPA and can only feel sex if a dude is packing 9…NA #FATTY it’s the cookies you down at midnight.
Now the Miami Heat usually don’t get themselves into many close games going into the 4th because they are usually up 15 at that point. But that was not the case the past couple nights.
On Tuesday night the GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS AND A COMPETITIVE 4th QUARTER CAME INTO LEBRON’S LIFE. Going into the 4th the Heat were up 84 to 72, Comfortable lead, and you’d figure the game wasn’t close enough for LeBron to have to play. But after 2 and a half minutes, Golden State was right back in the game down 7 thanks to Nate “I wasn’t good enough for D’Antoni even though I dropped 40 after not playing in 2 months” Robinson.
Then as Skip Bayless says…the “Chosen One” turned into the “Frozen One”. LeBron did not attempt 1 SINGLE SHOT in the 4th quarter on Tuesday night. NOT ONE. He also did not grab a rebound, pick up a steal, block a shot, OR EVEN REGISTER AN ASSIST. Talk about having “Magic Johnson” like ability…YEA RIGHT. Magic 15 years from now.
The game then went into OT, after Miami scored 12 4th quarter points and Golden State 24 (wonder if LeBron’s 0 stat line had anything to do with that). In OT LeBron was not in the 4th quarter so he tried to score…attempting 3 shots made 1…had 2 points, 1 turnover, and 3 assists. So better than the 4th but not what LeBron could do is he had an extra 3 balls. He might need to look into getting himself 5 testicle surgery. The Heat ended up scoring 10 points in OT, Golden State 15…and the Heat lost in a close game…SHOCKER.
Next up…the Los Angeles Clippers and A VERY COMPETITIVE 4TH QUARTER LAST NIGHT. This IS WHAT WENT DOWN…COMMENTARY BY YOURS TRULY…[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF8zMZakvE0[/youtube]
WOW. 4th quarter…Lebron a 80% Shooter…Missed 3 of 6 free throws in the last minute and a half of the game. Missed A FREE THROW DOWN 1 WITH 16.7 SECONDS LEFT. SHOCKER. MISSED ANOTHER FREE THROW DOWN 1 WITH 5.1 SECONDS LEFT. SHOCKER, SHOCKER, SHOCKER, SHOCKER, SHOCKER, SHOCKER, SHOCKER. Oh he also missed another free throw during the 4th, totaling 4…not to mention 2 turnovers and 1 of 3 from the field. LeBron might need to up 50 cent and change his name to “75 cent dolla” cause he ain’t got that last quarter in em….UHHHHH UHHHHH (when I’m in the hood, and spit a sick line voice)…