May 15 2012
Last time I saw a team play as bad as the LA Lakers, I was at the NYSC watching a bunch of asians playing on the same team, thinking they had the “Jeremy Lin” trait…and last time I saw someone protect the rock like the OKC Thunder, I saw a group of crackheads trying to jump my boy “SPARE DOLLA.”. Tonight’s game in OKC was a joke. I mean it was so bad that I was watching an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives that I had probably seen 15 times before. Yea when I was a sophomore in college I was a REAL #FATTY, who used to attempt to smoke weed (NO I DID NOT INHALE).
Unlike Skip Bayless’s genius prediction on ESPN First Take this morning that the Lakers would win GAME ONE, the OKC Thunder dismantled the Lakers in 119-90 ROUT. And the only number you really need to know from this game is 4 turnovers. THE OKC THUNDER only had 4 TURNOVERS ALL NIGHT. Which for dominant ball guys like Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant and James Harden….IS FUCKING IMPRESSIVE, ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT OKC LED THE LEAGUE in turnovers this year with 16.3/game. Yup OKC turned the ball over more than any team in basketball this year. I don’t think OKC had a game all year with less than 7 TOs – you’d think Chauncey in his prime was PGing that squad tonight. Durant was 8-16 from the floor for 25 points, 8 rebounds and 0 TOs, Westbrook had a killer game with 29 points (10 of 15), 9 assists, and 7 rebounds, only 1 TO; and Harden added 17 with 2 TOs.
There was a point in the 4th quarter when the Lakers had 0 points off turnovers CAUSE THE OKC THUNDER WEREN’T TURNING THE BALL OVER. Now although I don’t think the Thunder will beat the Spurs in the Western Conference Finals, IF THEY TURN THE BALL OVER around 4-6 games….THEY WILL WIN A FUCKIN CHAMPIONSHIP.
Now I don’t want to get too much into the Lakers because they played like me in bed when I have whiskey dick. SHOCKER BYNUM ONLY TOOK 12 shots, AND until the #FATTY Mike Brown and the EGOIAC Kobe realize that they need to ride Bynum to a championship (at least 18 shots a night), this team is going to FLOP. Why the fuck are you playing this OUTSIDE game (LA), with the best outside centered team in basketball (OKC)? GET THE BALL TO THE POST!!! Especially if you have #FATTIES down there who can score. WTF are you trying to outshoot the OKC THUNDER?
And don’t depend on little Ramon Sessions to do shit, this dude fucking sucks. 1 for 7 tonight for a total of 2 points and 3 assists for a STARTING PG, playing with Kobe and Bynum (FUCK GASOL ,HE IS WASHED UP). You serious? This Laker team was honestly embarrassing to watch tonight. Last time I saw a team with this much starting talent get the shit kicked out of em…I was sitting at MSG drunk as homeless…witnessing Melo trying to beat the FG attempt record against the Celtics.
You want my prediction for this series. Game two Bynum takes at least 16 shots, and the Lakers lose a close game down the stretch. People need to remember, this Laker team does not run the triangle offense anymore. The triangle offense is geared to get the ball in the post. Without it, you have the #FATTY Mike Brown, coaching up an offense centered around Kobe, who is still trying to prove the ESPN writers that he is not the #7 best player in the league.