Mar 26 2012
Kobe getting benched during a critical stretch in the 4th quarter is like me having a threesome. It just doesn’t happen and when it does happyen, you better dig up some serious dirt to find out WHY IT HAPPENED. Mike Brown benched Kobe last night with 5:32 left, down 93-79 to the Memphis Grizzlies. He put in the artist/halftime “lets get fucked up” attitude formerly known as Ron Artest in the game for Kobe, and Ron was sort of stunned to go in. Mike had to tell Ron about 3 or 4 times to go in for Kobe, before the #IDIOT went in.
Now what do I think of the move? I FUCKING LOVE IT and I think it should have happened earlier in the season. Kobe has been a shooting tear this season. He will shoot as much as it is humanly possible for a player 33 years of age. I mean, Kobe is BY FAR leading the NBA in field goal attempts per game with 23.4, and to put it in perspective; second on that list is Kevin Durant with 19.6. Meaning Kobe averages 3.8 more shots per game than the #2 guy. THAT IS A LOT. I think Kobe sometimes forgets that he has not one but two 7 foot guys named Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol on his team, that every single team in the league would kill to have. But both those bahimuths just don’t get enough shots because KOBE won’t get them the ball (he shoots instead). As you know Kobe is out to prove the media wrong after they had nothing but negative things to say about Kobe this offseason last offseason and ranked him #7 in ESPN NBA RANK. No reason Andrew Bynum should average 12.5 shots a night (less than Tayshaun Prince), while Kobe is out there chucking double that.
Well last night that wasn’t exactly the case because Kobe wasn’t shooting all that much, the problem was Kobe wasn’t doing much of anything. He wasn’t distributing the ball (3 assists), wasn’t rebounding (3 rebounds), didn’t have much energy, and was the only starter who had a +/- efficiency in the – (-6). Now although I think this “bencing” should have come during games when Kobe was 9-31 (L to WASH) or 3-20 (L to UTAH), it is good that MIKE BROWN finally put the hammer down on KOBE. If this team wants to win a championship, they better respect LeBron James puppet or else they’ll be sipping martinis (with the olives in em) faster than you can say “ASS AND TITTIES, ASS AND TITTIES, ASS AND TITTIES AND BIG BOOOOOOTYYY BITCHES (Outcast syzrup voice).
Kobe actually handled the benching better than I thought he would, after being asked about it…