Sep 21 2011
Idiot Caught Stealing Dolphins Jersey, Then Wears One To Court
This is honestly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in my life, but then again they are Miami Dolphin fans. Nelson Walker, and James A. Hanna were accused of third degree theft by Miami-Dade police. Police say the pair were hanging around during Sunday’s loss to the Texans when they took two jerseys and a hat, hid them in their pants, and tried to book it out of SunLife Stadium.
Both men appeared in bond court Monday, where Judge Diane Ward put bond at $5,000 — approximately 8,000,000,000 times more than the street value of aqua and orange jerseys during an 0-2 start. Yikes. Just so happened they both were kicked out of SunLife Stadium for life. Which is actually a blessing more than it is a punishment. Now the Dolphins total attendance went from 21,000 to 20,998. Damn.
SURPRISINGLY this dude Nelson is actually a schizophrenic, but it is unsure at this point if the jersey he tried to steal was a Brandon Marshall jersey. What the hell is wrong with people down in Miami? Is it something in the coke?
But the funniest part of all of this is Nelson Walker showed up to court, ROCKING A DEVON BESS #15 MIAMI DOLPHINS JERSEY. That was even noticed by the Judge. Bess?” asked judge Diane Ward, reading the back of Nelson Walker’s jersey. “Is he new this year?” Walker explained “This ain’t the one, your honor.” [NBC MIAMI]
At least the Dolphins have one HUGE part of a man for a fan. I’m guessing his other personality’s are Jaguar and Buccaneer fans.
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