Jun 8 2011

I Need This Ambulance, I Need It!

Wow….Wow….just when I thought I was just a regular ole’ creep who searches Craigslist all day, today I finally struck gold.

Gold in the form of a New York Jets Ambulance.

I am officially starting a “get this fat bastard this NY Jets ambulance” fund.

I will take pennies, nickles, dimes, quarters, 50′s, hundred’s, checks, or if you just want to buy it outright for $3,200 I will be your slave for a week.

Imagine this: Rolling up to the Meadowlands, Week One vs the Dallas Cowboys, sirens BLARING, tailgating out of the back of a damn ambulance, IV’s running with beers, stretcher included for a pre-game nap, and a full on first-aid kit.

I may even need this for my own personal health. If the Jets put me through another up and down season like last year (dammit you know they will) my heart may not be able to take it. I may literally have a heart attack. Never mind the thought of them even making it to the Super Bowl, I wouldn’t survive, I just wouldn’t.

So I will start the donation off at a penny, and work from there.

GET MY FAT ASS THIS AMBULANCE…PLEASE!