Bobby V Bans Beer In Beantown

Bobby Valentine has stormed into town and he is already making changes. From this point forward #drunkies, there is to be no more alcohol in the Boston Red Sox locker room. I don’t care if you’re the #fatty David Ortiz, or if you’re a starting pitcher on an off day, or if the Sox are on a 10-game losing streak–only water and Gatorade bitches, you have brought this upon yourselves!

Valentine announced to his team on Saturday that he’s banning alcohol in the clubhouse this season, after last years big ordeal with starting pitchers admitting they consumed alcohol during games they weren’t pitching. Alcohol is also a no-go on flights that come at the end of a road trip as well.

“It’s just what I’ve already done, except for when I was in Texas, I guess,” Valentine said. “I’m comfortable with it that way.”

Not sure how this will sit with the players in the locker room all season (John Lackey, Josh Beckett, Kevin Youkilis, and Dustin Pedroia all look like they pound some brews and get all rowdy) but apparently it isn’t quite a big deal yet.

“We’re not here to drink, we’re here to play baseball. You know what I’m saying? This ain’t no bar. This is an organization, a place that needs a lot of athleticism. Alcohol has nothing to do with that. People have alcohol in their houses. If you want to drink it, drink at home.” – David Ortiz

“It’s good. It’s all about putting 2011 behind us and moving forward. That’s all we can do.”- Carl Crawford

Oh yeah it’s all good and fun now when the season/losing hasn’t started, but let’s wait until that stretch of West Coast games in July, when you’re looking up at Tampa and the Yankees in the standings, and all you want to do it hit up the Sam Adams factory and bring some brews back to the clubhouse….only to find Nazi Valentine standing at the door of the locker room, pounding a club in his hand, ready to bend you over and spank you. This is going to be fun.