Jun 1 2011
Bartolo Colon Using Stem Cells? Too Bad MLB
I told you old man, the Cheeseburgers no longer go to my hips.
Bartolo Colon, the man shaped like a melon has arguably been the New York Yankees second best pitcher this season. Now all of a sudden you start to see other teams, along with the MLB looking into how the 265 lb righty has found such a crazy resurgence at the age of 38.
Well right off the bat you think….steroids? Sorry not anymore, this is 2011 not 1998.
Hmm, lets see what’s next? HGH? Nope. The doctor who treated Colon in the Dominican Republic 18 months ago, Florida-based Joseph Purita admits he’s used HGH on his other patients, but insists Colon is a clean as a whistle and he is even willing to take a lie-detector test to prove it (A bit shady, but he seems adamant about it).
So what the hell is this meatball on? Looks like Major League Baseball is asking that very question, as they continue to probe Colon’s medical treatments in the Dominican Republic 18 months ago.
Colon, who was out of baseball at the time, was administered stem cell injection in his shoulder and elbow – a desperate procedure to resurrect his career. Don’t see stem cell injections on your list there, Mr. Bud Selig.
But as with any good stories, there are some jerk-offs out there trying to spin it. One baseball official says, “it’s hard to believe” either Purita or Colon drew the line at stem cells”, although investigators have been unable to prove a thing.
Oh yeah and for all you who will bitch and moan about how stem cell usage is unethical, choke on this: Colon harvested the cells from his own body (his own fat hip). No embryos were used…..hippies.
So Bud we know your old ass is bored, as you sit there and watch your shitty league get more boring and boring by the day, because all of a sudden guys who used to hit 40-50 home runs, are now batting .260 and can’t even reach the warning track *Cough, Jason Bay, Cough*. Leave fat boy Colon alone and work on finding some “LEGAL” substances that’ll make me not fall asleep in the third inning of a 1-0 Mets, Pirates game.
Sincerely,
A pissed off NFL fan who’s locked out and has to resort to boring baseball and hotdogs.