Jan 9 2012
Angels In The Backfield…
The Angels came out today baby and it was not in the form of Brady Quinn like every single network reported was going to come in if Tebow had ONE BAD THROW. The Angels came back of a 3 week hiatus, in full force flying around Denver Sunday, laughing at everyone who thought Pitt was going to win. They don’t like to come back but when they have to, they do. So a fumble here, a new pair of legs there, and the Body of Tebow reinvigorated..
As according to plan…when the Broncos won 7 out of 8, God and the Angles thought it was time to leave the team a lone. They do not like all the “divine intervention”talk/TV publicity with the SNL skits etc… (you know you aren’t suppose to use God’s name in vein) and they wanted Denver to win on their own. If you remember in “Angles in the Outfield” the #fatty Angels let the players play without the Angles, and didn’t want to always help the team…they want the them to get used to winning on their own. So the Angels let the Broncos play there 3 last games without their help and SHOCKER DENVER LOST. and over that span Tebow looked liked the quarterback all the “haters” were waiting for. He averaged 146 yards/game, 4 interceptions, 3 lost fumbles, and completed 30 of 73. At the time the Angels made sure the other AFC West teams would flop so that Denver would still make the playoffs. So without all the hoopla coming into the playoffs and many jumping off the Tebow bandwagon like it was the Titanic sinking….everyone besides the man upstairs, the Angels, and the senile #fatty at your mother in laws house thought that Tebow and the Broncos had NO REAL shot at beating the Pittsburgh Steelers. The God talk was put to rest and people were ready to move on from this holy Tebow thing…
But the Angels got back in the backfield on Sunday…
TIM TEBOW took snap, dropped back, came out of that backfield and BALLED OUT AGAINST THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS ON SUNDAY. Whether he was throwing LaMarr Woodley to the ground, extrending plays with his legs avoiding anything that came his way (DID NOT GET SACKED ONCE), or THROWING BOMBS TO DEMARYIUS THOMAS…TEBOW WAS THE REASON THE BRONCOS BEAT THE STEELERS and won their first playoff game since 2005. Not the defense, kicker (who CAN MAKE 80 yard FGS) or John Fox…NO TODAY WAS TEBOW and the Angels Day…
On Sunday, Tebow threw for 316 yards, 3TDs (1 rush), had 125.6 passer rating, broke the NFL playoff record with a 31.6 yards/completion, had 3 throws of more than 50 yards (in the last 10 seasons Steelers had never allowed more than 2 passes of 50-plus yards in any game) becoming the only QB to do that in a playoff game since the 1970 merger, threw 5 passes over 30 yards (Pitt only allowed 6 all year-by far the fewest in the NFL), broke the NFL record for longest game winning play in OT with his 80 yard TD pass to Demaryius Thomas, became the 5th quarterback to throw for over 300 yards and 2 TDs in his playoff debut (joining Daunte “I’m a fatty” Culpepper, Kurt “God doesn’t like me as much as Tebow” Warner, Kramer? and Joe “If you’re mentioned with me you are ITE” Montana)….and TEBOW DID THIS ALL against the #1 PASS DEFENSE IN THE NFL.
Not only did the Steelers have the #1 ranked defense in the NFL but they had the #1 PASS DEFENSE IN THE NFL. THEY only gave up 2,751 passing yards all season, which is 171.9 yards per game. TEBOW and the Angels HAD 316…
Speaking of 316 isn’t it weird that 316 is the same number Tebow wore underneath his eye black @Florida. Referring to John 3:16 in the Bible, which for my Jehovah Witness’ out there states: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” So pretty much Tebow is God’s son and Tebow 316 said I JUST WOOPED YOUR ASS. Also Tebow averaged 31.6 yards per pass, and something else that is crazy: John Ourand of Sports Business Journal reports that the final quarter-hour television rating for the Broncos-Steelers game was yes 31.6.
Not to mention all the Steeler injuries that the Angels planned out before the game: Ben rehurt his ankle, Maurkice Pouncey was ruled out with a high ankle sprain, Mendenhall out with a torn ACL, Ryan Clark out because of a sickle cell trait (planned trait at birth?), Steelers RB coach out after being caught in a random house fire…and during the game Brett Keisel and Casey Hampton had to sit out after the first quarter for undisclosed injuries…
How about the Angels taking Eric Decker out of the game so that DeMaryius Thomas would move into the #1 slot?
You want to hear something else that is weird with DeMaryius Thomas….HE WAS BORN ON CHRISTMAS. I MEAN WTF? Yup Thomas who had 204 yards receiving became the only guy to go for over 100 yards against the Steelers ALL YEAR…WAS BORN ON CHRIST-MAS. I mean what are you going to tell me next that he was drafted with Tebow, just like the Angels planned. Ehhh…YES HE WAS. Well not that shocking, but I find it cool. It was like God came in and said this is the year Tebow and his disciples WILL COME upon Denver and SHIT ON THE STEELERS IN THE PLAYOFFS. And yes Tebow and Thomas did SHIT ON THE STEELERS TODAY. As a Steeler fan who prides himself on defense and Ruby Tuesdays…that was embarrassing.
And how else would God and the Angels wanted the game to play out? Just when you thought Tebow would score with 3:35 left…Tebow misses Thomas on a big 3rd down for a potential GW FG, which Prater would hit on ecstasy from 69. This happened so things did not turn out too cliche. God likes variety, why do you think everyone is so weird and fucked up? Then the Steelers got the ball back with 1:37, start driving down field and everyone thought…DAMN this “divine intervention”/Tebow Time…IS OVER/NOT TRUE/I WASTED MY TIME AT CHURCH WITH THAT CREEPY FAT PRIEST. THEN out of nowhere Ben the Rapist gets the ball knocked out by a flying Elvis Dumervil, who was pushed in the back by an Angel, Steelers are out of FG range, and the game goes to OT.
D Thomas Was Born On Christmas and Mom's name is Katina...WHATTTTTTTT
Then the Angels said you know what this game is taking too long, we gotta take care of the psychos out in Pakistan. So they Gave Tebow the coin flip “heads”, and on the first play Demaryius Thomas another new pair of legs (since he has a bum knee, and runs like a TE) and dude was out for the longest first play in playoff history that WON DENVER THE GAME. Next week for Tebow and the Angels: God’s nephew Brady…and who knows if the Angles will be in full force. But what I do know is if you want a prediction that WILL GET YOU STRAIGHT $$$ HOMIE…LISTEN TO FLOPPINGOUT RADIO ON TUESDAY @7PM…CAUSE WE CALLED THE BRONCOS BEATING THE STEELERS HOME SLICES (the white kind not that whole wheat crap)….
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdlM-q0bs9s[/youtube]