Mar 31 2011

Ah It’s Baseball Season-Beers And BBQ’s

This aint' your everyday MLB Preview!

DunDunDun Dun Dun (ESPN’s Baseball Tonight Song) It is Opening Day in the MLB everyone, the day where every team starts 0-0 and in first place, the day when even Kansas City Royals, Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Pirates, and New York Mets fans have hope.

Now I’m not going to sit here and talk sabermetrics with you, nor am I going to say the Philadelphia Phillies will win the World Series if….NO, that’s lame, that’s what ESPN is for. (If you really want to see some real, nerdy ish, Check out SI.com’s preview) What I will do for you is give you my predictions and opinions on what I think will go down this season, whether I’m serious about a certain topic or if I’m just bustin’ your balls, that’s up for you to decide.

There is one thing I’ll be serious about: My Division, Wild-Card, and eventual World Series Winner. After that, who knows?

So without further ado lets take a look at how I think the season will pan out.

Let’s start in the American League:

Nick's Floppy World Series Prediction

Jim Thome THEN..

Jim Thome Now....still no steroids? okkkk

So there you have it, take it for what it’s worth. Maybe I’m crazy, or it’s those 3 sliders I had for dinner acting up just now, but I love the Twinkies this year (I also like the Minnesota Twins too)

Now on to the fun stuff, I hope I didn’t bore you with those predictions, you know the old phrase; “If I wanted an assholes opinion I’d fart?” Yeah that goes for me right now, so here chew on this fatties.

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Here Are Some Floppy Predictions

*The Chicago Cubs will NOT win the World Series AGAIN, ok, now we can start*

* Jose Canseco will announce he’s returning to baseball, and will sign with the New York Yankees*

*Manny Ramirez will announce he is retiring from baseball because he is pregnant (TOLD YOU THOSE FERTILITY PILLS WEREN’T STEROIDS)

ITS A BOY!

*Chase Utley wont make one start this season*

*C.C Sabathia relapses, OD’s on CapN’ Crunch*

*Buck Showalter stole Evan Longoria’s AK-47*

*You STILL can’t name ONE player on the Kansas City Royals*

*The New York Mets will trade every single player not named David, or Ike. (That means Beltran, Bay, Santana, Reyes, K-Rod) still won’t sign a solid free agent*

*Brian Wilson will take a shot at Charlie Sheen at some point this season*

I'll stick with the slightly less sober Wilson

*Tim Lincecum has a heart attack thanks to In-and-Out Burger*

*The New York Mets will have injuries*

*Tim Kurkjian comes out of the closest, he and John Kruk will elope*

*Ozzie Guillen will KILL someone*

*Mike Francesa will tell you Andy Pettitte is a starting pitcher*

*The Pittsburgh Pirates are, and always will be irrelevant*

*Felix Hernandez and Albert Pujols will both be traded, but where?*

*Frank and I will win the 2011 Citi Field Hot Dog Eating Contest on June 4th 2011*

*Frank will confess his love for baseball, and it’s salary cap*

Okay C.C I feel ya on the CapN'

*I will win the FloppingOut.com Fantasy Baseball League*

*Bill Spano will lapse during this Fantasy Baseball season*

*Under/Over for Hot Dogs on my first tailgate will be at 8 (I WILL GO OVER AGAIN)*

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to Donald Trump*

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to Lenny Dykstra*

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden*

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to Bernie Madoff*

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to Muammar Gaddafi*

We Didn't lose money, no wait, yeah that's right, did we?

*The Wilpon’s will sell the Mets to George Steinbrenner*

*Baseball will always be the National Pastime, It passes time until football season*

*The Red Sox still have some of the ugliest fans in the world*

*Latino Players will BOYCOT the MLB All-Star Game*

*Oliver Perez will pitch a no-hitter before any Mets pitchers*

*Barry Bonds STILL wont admit he took steroids*

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Okay I’ve had enough, that should get you through the season. So whats left for you to do is fire up that grill, grab some hot dogs, and get those beers cold you Floppy SOB’s cuz’ its Wood and Balls season.

Beers and Baseball go together like Lamb and Tuna Fish (Rob Schneider Voice)

By Nicholas Spano • Uncategorized • 3 • Tags: 2011 mlb, 2011 mlb predictions, 2011 opening day, baseball opening day, boston redsox, funny baseball predictions, funny mlb predictions, funny predictions, funny sports predictions, mlb 2011 preview, mlb opening day, mlb predictions, mlb preview, new york mets, new york yankees, opening day in baseball